That's when you crack a 10am beer
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm bleeding and have questions
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
