Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
