There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
