Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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