Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
