I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
