Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
