I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
