And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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