That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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