Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
