That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
