Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just had sex on a roof
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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