I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
where am i from again
operation harelip BJ is a go
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
