I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
