woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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