I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
