this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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