So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i dont even know how to be here
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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