omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
