Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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