Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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