just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
