I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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