the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We're too hungover to prance.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
