The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize