whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
kristin has been a bad kristin
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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