I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize
