They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize