I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
