I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
