Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Randomize