I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you had me at cake vodka
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
