The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize