Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
