would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
