Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
