I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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