someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
