i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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