I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
