So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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