what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Fuck appropriateness.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
