Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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