I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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