I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
