Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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