i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
