when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
