Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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