first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
