you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
