By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
