Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
