so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize