Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hippo gnu deer
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I supernannyed him into submission
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