my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
