Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
