White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
