fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
