nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
