It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
