I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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