i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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