No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You can't special order awesome
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
