his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
